“Dear Tat” Advice Column
Tatiana Cerreta
August 24, 2009
Filed under Feature Page
Hey Brashier! You know me already, Tatiana, just wanted to give all of you who have come to me for advice so far a shout out and thank you guys for sending questions and comments. Well, big news advice seekers! We have a new writer this semester who is interested in helping you guys out to with your questions and problems. M&M (they have chosen to remain anonymous) would love to hear from you. You can still write to me, or M&M if you would like. If you would like to shoot M&M acomment, just title your post Dear M&M. They swear they will not discuss your issues or questions to anyone. We are both swore to secrecy and love to hear from you all. So now you can hot me up, or my friend M&M, hope to hear from you guys soon!
~ XoxO
Tat
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Dear Tat,
So many of us BMC students are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out with school work, college classes, jobs, sports, and still keeping somewhat of a social life.
How do you recommend we handle the pressure of high school (and college).
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tcerreta Reply:
October 9th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Unknown friend,
haha alright? Thanks for your message! XoxO ~Tat
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!! Haha I work as well and play basketball and blah blah STRESS! My advice? You really need to take a step back and take a deep breath. You can’t let stress take control of you… you have to take control of stress. You need to remember that being at this school asks you to do a lot more than a normal school would, and I think that deserves a little credit don’t you? Do things you know will make you less stressed! You know you have to get the hard work done, (college, and school work) but make it fun. Do you know anyone in your college classes you can study with? Also at work, what I do is say, “alright almost done almost there.” But there isnt really anything else you can do about work because hense the name, it is “work.” Now, when it comes to friends, when you get done with all the tough stuff, you need to let go of everything that stresses you out and enjoy yourself!!! I mean look at yourself your in high school, TAKING COLLEGE CLASSSES, playing sports, working, and have tons of friends, to me you’re awsome! Haha Make the best of stress and when you feel overwhelmed take a break, lay on your bed close your eyes (and I reccomend music) and just breathe until you’re ready to hit whatever your doing again. I hope this helped you and please don’t think twice about emailing me again if you want more advice or comment on how umm… well think bad my advice was (kidding)
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dear tat,
i am sooo sick of school drama. why is everyone so judgemental? we are a small school and it would be nice if certain people would stop being haters and picking on certain people. im tired of the clicks also.
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tcerreta Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Dear sooo sick of school drama,
The real reason people are judgemental and snarky is the same reason your not, they were raised that way. But think about it this way, how pathetic do you have to be to take the time to talk about someone else? I’ve always wanted to know what drives people to go out of their way to say something mean about someone else. I think they do it honestly to fit in with a group of people or to save face but really if that is the case, should you really about what those types of people think? Don’t let it bother you, the more you let it show that it does, the more ammunition they will have to fire at you. Just focus on those who you do care and what they think about you and let what those who you don’t roll right off your back. Don’t stress drama and clicks, those people will always be that way(trust me) just be a great friend to those around you I promise you’ll be happier in the long run. Hope this helped
XoxO ~Tat
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dear tat, my girlfriend just broke up with me and i dont know what to do. i have nothing to do with my freetime now; i used to spend every minute with her. now i miss her and want to get back with her. i dont know what to do; please help.
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tcerreta Reply:
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Dear Mysteria,
Man I really hope this works, trust me I’m in the dark as much as you are about relationships most of the time but I hope I gave you some ideas and helped a little!
Let me ask first and foremost how long have you been going out for? If its been a long term kind of thing there must have been a really good reason why she broke up with you you know what I mean? If so, you really need to talk face to face with your girl. As a girl, (even though most of the time you boys don’t want to) we like to talk about our feelings and our issues. You really need to hear her out, whats bothering her, what was wrong with the relationship, ect. That may have been what was wrong in the first place, you werent communicating the right way. Don’t be afraid to open up. As for spending every minute with her…that is a little too much you get me? She might have felt a little bit overwhelmed you know? Relationships are 50:50 and each person needs to give half to make a whole. Now that other 50% you have left is for you to still do things that make you happy on your own or with friends. Now as for getting her back? I’m old fashioned when it comes to love and I think you need to suprise her somehow, flowers, a note, something you know she will like (this needs to be done after you two open up to one another of course). But listen, if all the above fails, maybe things really were not supposed to be and trust me I know it hurts but you just have to…move on. Focus on YOU for a change and do things that will make YOU happy. When your not looking for love, it finds you and it might even be your ex.
XoxO ~ Tat
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Dear Tat,
I am so frustrated with everything that is going on. Between school work and home I just don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I just broke up and although it wasn’t long I don’t know what happend. He just said “Im a passive person” I dont work that way and since he pretty much told me he didn’t care I broke up with him. Do you think I made the right decision? I don’t know anymore.
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tcerreta Reply:
November 5th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Dear Just Upset,
You know it does sometimes feel like your in over your head but thats why you have friends/ your boyfriend. They are their to keep you on the ground and laughing. I really do think you guys had a dissagreement but you have to talk about it. In my opinion, you two could be together, every couple gets upset and “breaks up.” Trust me you two need to talk again, it just seems if he thinks your “too passive” you just need to open up a little more. Make your self be heard and suprise him! I understand you being a bit shy though, I mean you did say you just started dating ya know? So its ok to be passive at first but after that you do need to take the first step and be… A GIRFRIEND! Hahaha Listen in the end it is up to you but in my opinion I think you two need to talk and make up. In the end everything works out and if it doesnt work out, then its not the end 
. Hope this helped!!!
Girl it just sounds to me like your just overwhelmed!!!
XoxO ~ Tat
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Dear Tat, I <33333 YOU!
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Dear You Know Who,
…Hey who are you by the way!?! lol
I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE ! Haha
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Dear Tat,
so its kind of heart breaking. You have no idea how much it help to know that i can find support here. I also need some advice on how to keep up with homework, I just finished writing a seven page paper for Mrs. Yon but i still have so much to do. I feel so overwhelmed. What should I do?
Your advice really helped!! although me and my boyfriend are no longer together we worked it out and I think we are going to be great friends. He just didnt care enough about the relationship to put any effort forward. So i guess thats why we fell apart. Plus he is younger than me and i think he has a lot of growing up to do. Its sad because i really did like him and it hurt to see him go. This friday would have been our two month
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Dear Just Upset,
Now lets talk school work. Believe me, I just finished Mrs. Yon’s paper and feel pretty overwhelmed myself but I also feel really accomplished. It is so important to look at yourself when you overcome something huge like that and give yourself some props! You should reward yourself somehow, myself, I love scary movies or what I like to call “Me Time.” After a long task, it is good to do something positive as a reward before you hit the next task. Balance stress with serenity. Remember it is okay to once in a while to take a breather, don’t let stress overcome you, simply overcome stress! 
Hope this helps girl and please ask for as much advice as you want, that’s why I’m here! 
So glad to hear things are going better for you two! Sorry about the break up though, but you know sometimes it does unfortunately happen but at least you guys are friends. Really try to start building on that. Hey and ya know at least you figured out what the issue was between you two, most of the times break-ups are caused by lack of communication or one of the two just doesn’t put in the effort need to make it work. WAY TO STAY STRONG GIRL!!!
XoxO
~Tat
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dear tat
Thanks for the advice. ill try the things you suggested and set back to you on how things work out. ^.^
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tcerreta Reply:
November 11th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Alright Mysteria! Can’t wait! hope things do work out! (3
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dear tat,
Thank you so much for the advice!! I did exactly what you said and had some “me time” just to think about the stuff I wanted to. I feel so much better now that im relaxed and am not so stressed. We are slowly becoming friends but its hard since i want more. I think we are going to be okay if we can just get through this. I like being able to talk to a real human about the problems i am facing everyday. Sometimes i need to talk to someone other than my best friend and its really great that its you. I do great when it comes to academics but im kind of sick of people calling me a genious because if i was a genious i wouldnt have to work at what i do but the truth is i work VERY hard to make the grades that i do. I try not to get worked up about it but im finding it very hard not to get upset because i feel like if people just saw that they could accomplish the same thing just by trying a little harder they would be better off. how do i let them know without getting angry?
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tcerreta Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Dear Just Upset,
jk Now as for your friends, hey if they come to you for help then by all means, give them a hand! But, some just don’t and will not give the effort to do well and it should not be on your hands to fix that. As a friend, GUIDE them, and really use yourself as an example on what hard work really can do. Never confront someone who isn’t trying and just doesn’t care, it wastes your time and just makes them upset. Girl just be focused on you and your own, (it is okay to do that sometimes 
) and go on being the smart person and great friend you are. And remember, always aim for the top. There is plenty of room there. There are so few at the top it is almost lonely there. Also, I love talking and giving advice, sometimes it is good to get advice from a different perspecticve and believe me, I love helping people when it comes to problems (3 Stay strong.
I’m glad you guys are friends and ya know it is going to take times to “let those wounds heal.” I hope that makes sense, what I mean is over time, the problems you guys faced will blow over in time and if you remain close, trust me you both can’t go anywhere but the right direction. Just make sure you both are communicating well and nothing is weird between you guys. As friends, or even in a relationship, you need to laugh and be open with one another. As for “me time” hope it went well! Always take time to refresh and relax before hitting something hard. Genius? Hmmm sound like to me you are, working hard to do great and be successful is genius and you should take the title with a smile! Shoot if people called me a genius I’d never get off my pedistool
XoxO
~Tat
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dear tat,
I know you haven’t heard from me in a while and that is because everything is going great. Me and my ex are really great friends and I have now found a new guy. I mean we arent dating or anything but we are talking and even though he is really confused and everything is complicated he makes me so happy. People see a change in my mood when he is around. He makes me smile and get this…..he LISTENS….i have never met a guy who actually did that. He doesnt judge me…he listens to everything i say…no matter how embarassing and he still likes me for just me. Every time i get around him I get so nervous. I have liked this guy for over a year and he is just now noticing me…i mean he still hasnt made up his mind and he still hasnt opened his eyes…but he is there and he is totally amazing…right now i dont think it could get any better than this. I was coming to check in with you and to see how you are doing. Cause i know you give advice but sometimes you need help from others and I wanted to know whats going on with you.
Signed–Amazingly Happy
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Dear Tat,
wut if u had a girl tht u liked and she went out with a guy tht u dont like. but tht girl u have been friends with for like ever and u feel as if she is the perfect match for. and also u know the guys intentions r not good and there was nothin to do bout it. wut should i do tatiana!!!!!!!!!! and wut should i do botu all of the homework tht oour teachers r giving us i dont have time to do it all with soccer and my personal life….
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tcerreta Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Dear Some Girl Issues,
all I can say is you need to step back, balance what is most important (school) and let the rest flow, dont ever let yourself get overwhelmed! Hope this helps! Keep me posted!
Ah man that is tough, I’ve gone through the exact thing, but in reverse of course ;D. If I’m being honest, you need to tell her the truth. If you guys are really the friends you say you are, not only are you not telling your friend how you honestly feel, but, if this other guy is really a jerk, wouldn’t it be the obligation of a friend to tell her whats up??? Hey, sometimes people don’t feel the same about each other but shouldn’t you at least try? I was shocked just the other day when my LITTLE sister how she was going to tell a guy she liked him and if it didn’t work out, oh well. I was like YOUR MY LITTLE SISTER !?! But she is right though, be straight with your friend. And about soccer/personal life, you know, I’ve got B-Ball, a job, school, and a personal life so believe me, I know how you feel
XoxO
~Tat
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I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with my cousin, my best friend, and the new girl at school. I saw him holding hands and kissing my cousin in Macy’s. I was so heartbroken that i almost had a car accident on the way home…I realllllllllllly love him!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i don’t know what to do. PLEASE TATIANA HELP MEEEEEE!!!!! I NEED DESPERATE HELP!
k, goodbye.
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tcerreta Reply:
December 14th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Dear Hopeless and Depressed,
Just kidding girl, just trying to make you smile but honestly DO NOT GO BACK TO THAT BOY! You need to move on, quick! It may be hard but that boy is dangerous, he will only hurt you, and trust me, you don’t need that! What I would do? Break up with him and make a huge scene about it, didn’t it embarrass you when you found out about the other girls??? I’m not saying go all Carrie Underwood “Before He Cheats” but you need to confront him and make him regret EVER cheating on you. I hope this helps and please keep me posted.
Oh my goodness! First of all, listen, someone like that is totally not worth being upset about! I’d actually be concerend for your cousin catching something from that womanizer!
XoxO
~Tat
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Dear tat: Its this really TALL girl on my basketball team. She really hates me but i tried to buy her some socks to make her like me
she threw them in the trash can!! we have basketball practice today and im scared for MY LIFE!!! she’s the center and im really afraid of TALL PPL!! she has alot of cats and really likes vicky secretssss!!! i really like her room. Im thinking about buying her something else from the mall since she OBVIOUSLY HATES SOCKSSSS 
HAHAHAAHA I LOVE YOU JOLLY GREEN
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tcerreta Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Dear Frightened of the Green,
haha just kidding but I will stick Yoshi on you! Ha I love ya Nu! See you at practice fool!
HAHAHAHA OMG Nunu I did not throw your toe socks away I absolutley loved them and put them on the moment I got them! Hahaha I love you!!!! You should be scared about practice this afternoon
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Tatianna…
I feel really bad recently because I can not help but mess and flirt with a bunch of girls. I will flirt with one then another then another, and I am never serious about these adavances.
Recently though I’ve fallen for one lovely girl that just makes me so happy to be around. I don’t think I could spend a day with out her… two plus two is not four when I am with her!
She will not take me serious about me liking her, because I play so much with girls, she thinks I’m trying to jerk her around! I really am not, and I want to be with her, but because of how I usually act (and her preassumed thoughts) she doesn’t see the real me….I don’t think anyone does anymore…. If I can not have her then I do not want anyone, and I do not want to keep dying slowly like I am because of one gal. Tell me what you think I should do…
Sincerely, Endangered Heart
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tcerreta Reply:
December 15th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Dear Endangered Heart,
I’m just teasing but seriously you do need to go out of your way to show her how much you care! You know in english right now we are going over the knights and chivalry, honestly it is not dead! Now come on, you need to step up as a gentleman and stop making passes at other girls! I shutter to think if you have ever made any in front of her! Girls, I’m being totally honest, are jealous creatures 
we need YOUR attention and DO NOT like it when you give it to other girls, especially if we like you! I’m so glad though that you have found that person who makes you so happy! See the real you though? How can you when your being a flirt? Is that the real you ? My guess is no, so be true to yourself first so she can see you for what you really are. And don’t rush things, start slow, stop all the flirting, and pay HER the extra attention 
get me??? I hope this helps! Keep me posted!!!
Well dang boy no wonder she can’t take you seriously! 2+2=4? Um no I don’t think so!
XoxO
~Tat
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dear tat. ok so i really like this guy and he says he likes be back. but he moves from girl to girl all the time. i wanna say something about that. what should i say to him
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tcerreta Reply:
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:24 am
Dear Boy Problems,
I’m so happy for you! congrats on scoring your man! (3 Listen, my advice to you is that if you truely are considering being in a relationship with this person, you first and foremost always need to be honest with one another. He may not know his flirtatious nature may be upseting you, let him know in a reasonable way and not accusatorily, that it does kind of bother you. If he really is a good guy, your man should care enough to take what you say to heart and really make an effort to stop the flirting and “girl hopping.” Listen, if he doesn’t, don’t get upset, a guy is not worth any of your time because he is just going to ignore a girl’s feelings in a relationship. Hope this helps! Keep me posted!
XoxO
~Tat
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i hope i don’t have hiv…………………….
do you hope i don’t have hiv?
i’m frightened.
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tcerreta Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Dear Confused and Hopefully not H.I.V. Positive,
First, let me just start by saying that I know the possibility of having H.I.V. is probably making you feel alone, and like you don’t know what to do next. I have had a very close friend have to go through the process of finding out they have the virus, and let me tell you, it may be easy to keep it in, but you need to open up to someone you really, really trust and talk to them about it. You are not alone, but, if you do think you have H.I.V., maybe even slightly, you MUST, MUST, MUST go to a doctor and get tested. H.I.V. is something, if you do have the virus, that doesn’t just go away, unfortunately. Many have to deal with it and adjust their life styles so they can live healthy lives, just like people who have say, Diabetes, or Asthma. There are certain medications and precautions to help keep you safe and your health in good shape. But please, you must trust me, without seeing a doctor and getting tested, you cannot receive the help you may need, not knowing and not getting treated could even make you sicker. You can go to the Health Department in Downtown Greenville and they will test you for free by appointment without parent consent. Once you know, if you do not have H.I.V., you can take this scare as a lesson and learn to change things to be more careful for next time. If you do, just remember many people have H.I.V. and live healthy lives with treatment. You would need to talk to your guardian about receiving care and learn about the next steps. All my prayers are with you my friend. Please stay strong and know I’ll always be here if you need any more advice.
XoxO
~Tat
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Dear Tat,
In my college seminar i sit next to this guy who thinks i’m so annoying…i don’t know why i think im really cool and awesome but he just hates me. I try to start conversation with him but all he does is ignor me. How do i get him to think im worth talking to? I just want some friends…is that too much to ask?
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tcerreta Reply:
March 11th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Dear Lonely in College Seminar and Hopeless and Depressed in College Seminar,
Well, my advice? You shouldn’t be talking during College Seminar in the first place. Maybe this boy doesn’t want your friendship and you should look elsewhere for friends? And you, Hopeless and Depressed in College Seminar, listen boy, heres a wonderful idea, MOVE SEATS. Plug in your head phones and listen to your Ipod or man up and tell her to stop bugging you. Honestly guys? Please study grow up. also, seminar is for studying and not writing to me. I LOVE YOU THOUGH 
Seriously?
XoxO
~Tat
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Dear tat,
There is this really annoying girl in my college seminar who sits right by me no matter were I go to sit. I wish she would stop talking about her lovesick aunt or her 40 cats she keeps in her room all the time and flicking me in the ear. I really just want to get some work done, but she seems to be set on annoying me the whole 1hr. and 25 min. I’m in there. What is up with her?
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Thank you for the advice…it didnt work out
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Hey Tat,
I wanted to ask you if you could help and answer my question.
I really like this guy but i told him that i needed to stop talking to him for a few days now that im talking to him again we dont connect as much and idk what to do can you help thanks
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